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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Delhi Police ‘Collects’ Itself ‘For Uttarakhand’

In a move that could make a stone melt, Delhi Police have offered to donate their one day’s Hafta collections for helping out with Uttarakhand flood relief work. Delhi Police chief said in a press conference yesterday, “People think that Delhi Police is heartless, especially after the India Gate atrocities, water cannon treatments and the recent Gokulpuri beatings. But, far from it, hamare seene mein bhi dil dhadakta hai. We are also patriotic like everyone in India, Zurich and Barcelona.”

The Commissioner announced that his organization will donate one day’s Hafta collections from all state borders, Wednesday (Budh Bazar) and Saturday (Sanichar Bazar) markets and roadside vendors. On being asked why only a day’s collection has been offered and not, say, a week’s; he replied that the Uttarakhand administration is not geared up for handling that kind of money.

Every person or establishment ‘contributing’ to the Delhi Police Uttarakhand Relief Fund (DPURF) will be given a special sticker with Delhi Police logo and ‘For Uttarakhand’ or simply ‘FU’ slogan.

The commissioner further informed that their financial intervention will simplify the aid collection effort and no dubious NGOs, TV channels and political parties should to be allowed to collect money from the people. “Such calamitous times are endemic to mushrooming of fly-by-landslide operators. We must protect public confidence” he added.

All hafta collectors have been asked to wear orange blue armbands (to signify Lord Shiva) and all toll naakas will be playing Shiv bhajans to create the right atmosphere for the noble cause.      

1 comment:

  1. hilarious and a reflection of our times. kya bath hai. sarath