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Monday, July 22, 2013

Coming Soon! World’s First Fully-Automated Universal Citizen Contact System (FUCCS)

In response to the relentless pounding it has been receiving on the social networks and TV, the UPA government has come up with an ingenious fully-automated online system for fielding frequently asked questions from the citizens. 

Anyone can call the following numbers to connect to the FUCCS by dialing the toll-free number 1-420-4200. International callers can dial collect call number 000-420-420-4200.

“Think of it as Government’s own 24x7 call center. The system has been so effectively designed that a caller will seldom need to use it a second time”, the Minister for Information and Broadcasting Mr. Manish Tewari said in a news conference in New Delhi today. He also revealed that the FUCCS will be a completely secular system. 

When the (carefully chosen) journalists, who were invited to the presser, insisted on a live demo of the system, the minister politely refused because the system was yet to be formally inaugurated by the nation’s Youthful Icon, Mr. Rahul Gandhi. The minister however asked one of the senior technical officials from the National Informatics Center to share the FUCCS process flow with the journalists.   

Till last reports, the UPA think tank was divided on whether to launch the FUCCS on the ‘Independence Day’ or on 20th August 2013, birthday of the Shri Rajiv Gandhi, the Patron Saint of Scheme Launchers. Rahul Gandhi has advised Mr. Manish Tewari to rope in the celebrity author and social scientist Mr. Chetan Bhagat to break the launch date logjam.

Stay ‘tuned’!  

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