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Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Life in the Delhi Metro

Chaos prevailed on the Delhi Metro rail network for the third day today after scores of commuters demanded ticket money refund and threatened to damage DMRC property. They were complaining against misleading reports in major newspapers and on TV channels. 

Reportedly, the entire media machinery went into overdrive after MMS clips filmed by the CCTV cameras inside Metro trains were leaked and went viral on YouTube and other social networking platforms. Although some Mumbai based TV channels (obviously) in their bid to shame Delhi Metro are showing the MMS clips on loop ever since, the hazy images led disgruntled viewers to YouTube for their own research and opinion building.  Hundreds of people then thronged the Metro network to witness the ‘phenomenon’ with their own eyes, only to be disappointed.


Our undercover reporter spoke to some of the angry folks at the Rajiv Chowk and Central Secretariat Metro stations and asked them why they were protesting? Here are some of the responses:

Naveen Bansal, Class XII Student: “Sir, I have travelled on the various metro lines for more than ten hours over the last two days and changed coaches after every station, but could not see even one MMS.”

Satyavrat Prakash, BJP supporter: “When you see country’s moral fabric getting weakened, you cannot sit at home and let it happen. I came to thrash these chowmein eaters.”

Piya Chaturvedi, Youth Congress member: “When I heard that our Prime Minister was travelling by Metro, I couldn’t contain my excitement and came to witness the miracle.”

Shyam Gopal Verma, a disastrous film maker, who is always one of the first ones to visit a disaster site: “I liked the use of DPS MMS clip in ‘Dev-D’ and came to record a clip for my next film.”

Randy Raghu, from an evening college of Delhi University: “People are so naïve. They should wait for things to cool down. The mahaul won’t return until these stupid TV channels have shut up.”

In the meanwhile, politicians and celebrities were not far behind in expressing their expert opinions on TV talk shows.


Mahesh Bhatt, the noted film maker, said, “It is people expressing their moving desire for sexual emancipation. I am already thinking of shooting crucial scenes of ‘Jism 3’ inside Delhi Metro.”


A grinning and winking Swami Kamdev, taking a break from a Yoga session, commented, “Ye hamare bachche zaroor Yoga karte honge, warna itne kam space mein…”


Aamir Khan, film actor and social activist, opined that such incidents happen due to sexual kuposhan.


A teary Sheila Dixit (Delhi CM) was seen saying to her favorite talk show host Bahar-Ka-Mat-Kha Dutt, “I have repeatedly been saying that Delhi women are not safe anywhere outside their homes, not even in Metro. Unfortunately, I have no control over Delhi Police or DMRC.”



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