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Your average fun guy who will stand by you!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Be Happy, India!

As the Independence Day draws near, every Indian is in introspective mood. Everyone seems to be cynical and unhappy even after 66 years of self-rule. Perhaps there are a few reasons for us to be unhappy, but, largely, we have everything going for our great nation. Here are a few snippets of why Indians should be a happy lot. 

If you are a Soldier: As long as you are alive, be happy because we give you free ration, subsidized travel and admission quota for engineering, medical and other colleges. And, should you die, your family should be happy because, according to the “Bhim Singh Paradox”, they made you a soldier only to get you martyred and collect compensation.

If you a Student: Be happy because you can become an engineer, doctor, MBA, architect, or whatever else you would like to become, by simply buying a degree from those colleges growing out of agricultural land just outside city’s municipal limit. And, should you not find an engineering job in this failing economy, be happy because you can join a call center for Rs 10,000 a month, the same salary a driver earns in Delhi. Your happiness should further increment when you consider the easy availability of drugs from that parking attendant of your call center.

If you a Common Man: Be happy because the government at least serves you after taking bribes. Be happy for those potholed roads, crumbling healthcare, falling bridges, poisoned water, vegetables and fruits, toxic air, runaway inflation, vanishing jobs and cruel nexus of politicians and police. You know things could be worse in Kalyug, don’t you?  

If you are a Woman: Be happy because you were allowed to be born and got to live. Be happy because you get home safe from work every night without getting raped. Be even more happy because the judge in the court merely ‘asks’ you to recount the rape in graphic detail and not perform the act all over again.

If you are a Journalist: Be happy because you get to pull off the greatest con job in a democracy. You can sell your integrity to the highest bidder while being mistaken for the upholder of a nation's conscience.

If you are a Policeman: Be happy because the politicians’ boots are made of licorice. Be happy because those goats and sheep are so afraid of the law that you can get away with daylight murder. Be happy that yours is a job no one can take away. You can only be transferred to another hunting patch.

If you are Poor: Be happy because poverty is just a state of mind and your sunken stomach, hopeless eyes and diseased body are mere artifacts.

And, if you are a Politician: Well! Be happy without a reason!!

Happy Independence Day! 
Be happy, India!!

1 comment:

  1. Happy Independence Day, MP! We should celebrate the fact that politicians don't rule over many facets of our life, so we're still better off!