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Thursday, August 1, 2013

Breaking News: Faking News Ceases Operations!

In what might come as a huge shock to the fans of Faking News, Network 18 Group, owners of Firstpost, citing competition from main stream TV news channels and political parties, has decided to close down Faking News! Firstpost had acquired Faking News only recently.

B Sai Kumar, Group CEO of Network 18, addressing a packed press conference on he sidelines of the 'Media Summit 2013' in Hotel Leela in Mumbai, told reporters that the competition from deep-pocketed TV channels and spokespersons of major political parties was intense. We at Firstpost/Faking News are simply not able to beat the natural born satirists that abound on TV and in print media. While our inhouse team, lead by editor Rahul Raushan, the guy whom we made rich, and our regular contributors are able to churn out only three to four stories a day, the main stream media floods people’s senses with mind boggling stories 24 hours a day. They have successfully obliterated the boundary between news reporting and satire. No one knows any more what is real and what is fake!”

We also caught up with Rahul Raushan, the man behind Faking News, in his plush new office in Mumbai overlooking the Marine Drive. With his usual chutzpah he said that “Competition in satire is here to stay. While until recently, it was a novelty waiting to be creatively (read ‘commercially’) exploited by stand up comedians, occasional columnists and websites like Faking News, today it’s a problem of plenty. In fact, it was in the wake of such realization that I decided to sell Faking News to Firstpost, who had been chasing me for quite some time. They sorely needed to catch up with the likes of Times Now, NDTV and Times of India to shore up humour and satire in their news reports and talk shows, and I was looking for a way out. It was a win-win situation!”


B Sai Kumar, in his address, said that “From the moment I get up in the morning to the time I go to sleep, people like Arnab Goswami, Barkha Dutt, Digvijay Singh, Manish Tewari, NaMo, Rahul Gandhi, Prime Minister’s Office, Renuka Chowdhary, Shashi Tharoor, Beni Prasad Verma, Ajay Maken, Madhu Kishwar, etc. etc. captivate people’s imagination with their creativity. Their every word, every phrase, every sentence, every tweet and every silence is like a Molotov cocktail hurled into social networks’ front courtyard. In the ensuing melee, no one has the time and inclination to read Faking News posts. Therefore, I am asking Firstpost, CNN-IBN and IBN7 themselves to innovate and manufacture both real news and satire, all in a day’s work.”

“Before coming to this press conference, I called up the head honchos of Times Now, NDTV and other news channels; and, the media relations chiefs of major political parties, to congratulate them on their success. They deserve it!” a visibly relieved Sai Kumar added.

Faking News will officially cease operations on this Republic Day.

1 comment:

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